A secret

Here is a something that i have hidden(or rather not told anyone) about.
I wanted to get myself admitted in VMC after class Xth.I gave the entrance test for it but could not clear it.The mail came at my place regarding my non selection.However by some mistake the letter bore wrong role no.So that allowed an excuse to go and talk to the people at VMC .
So we went there and somehow convinced Sandeep bhaia of admitting me in VMC as my past school record was brilliant.

In retrospect I think that i should not have taken that decision.For one because i was never honest in accepting the fact to anyone that i had manged to get admission in there by the means which could not be said to be perfectly correct and two because i somwhow could never place myself at par with the people who were selected defacto at VMC so it was quite a morale dampener.

It still is difficult for me to accept to anyone that i was not a VMC regular solely on my own merit because somehow i have made VM more important thn myself and still give myself some non-voluntary ego masage.I still want that people should consider me as intelligent and again non-voluntarily i still take VM selection as my ticket to it(although now i myself want to move away from it because i know that i am much more than a mere selection at VM)