kyon nahi khota chain mera
kyon nahi udte hosh mere
kyon hoon itna chup chaap main
kyon hoon itna gum naam main
aisa nahi hai doston ki man nahi machalta mera
par aisa kyon hai doston ki dil had nahi par karta doston
kyon hoon darta main karne se had par main
kyun hoon simta rehta main apne aap mein
kyoon hoon itna gumnaam main
sochta mehsoss karta hoon pyar main
jab dekhta hoon do dilon ko sath main
sochta hoon hota mera koi ham safar
par phir bhi kyon ruk jata hoon har baar main
kehna chahta hoon dil ke jasbat main
hansna chahta hoon kisi ke saath bin baat main
pyaar karna chata hoon ek baar main
par phir bhi kyon ruk jata hoon har baar main
dhoondhta hoon usko har baar main
bheed mein bhi khojta hoon har baar mein
sochta rehta hoon duniya ke is bheed bhare bazaar mein
par doston apna hi maza hai intezar main
Friday, April 22, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
something today
An incident not of much significance and much common place but i am writing it down so that it acts as a reference so that if me or someone else reads it he pays attention.
Today I saw a boy around 14-15 passing by near my house and crying loudly.He was carrying those sweet cottons in his hand to sell.It was strange to see him cry as we are expected to see these people with an only straight faced expression and never show any emotion except perhaps something crying out abuses.Also we expect them to be toughened by life and so never display any weakness.I had never thought about the characteristics of these vendors but these thoughts came up spontaneously as I saw him cry and almost expected that some boy moving behind him was crying who belonged to one of us as such tenderness is a privilege reserved for only an elite few.
Moved as any common man i asked him what happened.Before he could answer a gang of small kids who were following him jumped in between.They told me that some thugs had stolen all his money and some of his possessions.they explained me how did fooled him.They also told me that how they were helping him by giving him 10Rs each.And they asked me to give it to him as well.based on my belief that helping people like this only frees you of the guilt for time being and actually saves u from the effort of doing something concrete i did not give him anything right then .
Meanwhile bawa also came in and asked what was the matter.that bunch of kids again excitedly repeated the whole story.Bawa was equally helpless.he asked if he could identify those thugs.Since he could not so he also raised his hand.He asked me to give him 10 Rs.I thought of giving him some more but then decided against it.Meanwhile Mummy was not entirely convinced of the story.
Anyways the whole lot moved ahead and i decided to follow them partly by the desire to give him some more money without being seen by anyone at home and partly to know what would be the boy's response as the kids had taken it in their hands to compensate for his loss and were excitedly calculating how have they made up for him 190 Rs of the 395 he had lost.I wanted to see for my own curiosity that how the victim would behave.I thought that the normal human tendency would be to except the help and show your plight to everyone to get help which i myself was not able to consider as a worthy thing to do.
Still he was in considerable pain and continued crying although now my mind was not able to decide whether he was crying out of the pain or to get sympathy from people to get money.
He did stop or rather was stopped by the kids at another home from where they solicited age from an old lady.I changed my path thereon not wanting to look intruding into the things.
I then was with my thoughts and found that the sympathy of a human being depends on how much he perceives the pain of other to be real.As now i had doubts about his pain my sympathy for him declined.Though i didnt give him the money not for this reason but because still i had the belief that by helping in bits and pieces one tries to exonerate himself of anything concrete he should do for society.
Today I saw a boy around 14-15 passing by near my house and crying loudly.He was carrying those sweet cottons in his hand to sell.It was strange to see him cry as we are expected to see these people with an only straight faced expression and never show any emotion except perhaps something crying out abuses.Also we expect them to be toughened by life and so never display any weakness.I had never thought about the characteristics of these vendors but these thoughts came up spontaneously as I saw him cry and almost expected that some boy moving behind him was crying who belonged to one of us as such tenderness is a privilege reserved for only an elite few.
Moved as any common man i asked him what happened.Before he could answer a gang of small kids who were following him jumped in between.They told me that some thugs had stolen all his money and some of his possessions.they explained me how did fooled him.They also told me that how they were helping him by giving him 10Rs each.And they asked me to give it to him as well.based on my belief that helping people like this only frees you of the guilt for time being and actually saves u from the effort of doing something concrete i did not give him anything right then .
Meanwhile bawa also came in and asked what was the matter.that bunch of kids again excitedly repeated the whole story.Bawa was equally helpless.he asked if he could identify those thugs.Since he could not so he also raised his hand.He asked me to give him 10 Rs.I thought of giving him some more but then decided against it.Meanwhile Mummy was not entirely convinced of the story.
Anyways the whole lot moved ahead and i decided to follow them partly by the desire to give him some more money without being seen by anyone at home and partly to know what would be the boy's response as the kids had taken it in their hands to compensate for his loss and were excitedly calculating how have they made up for him 190 Rs of the 395 he had lost.I wanted to see for my own curiosity that how the victim would behave.I thought that the normal human tendency would be to except the help and show your plight to everyone to get help which i myself was not able to consider as a worthy thing to do.
Still he was in considerable pain and continued crying although now my mind was not able to decide whether he was crying out of the pain or to get sympathy from people to get money.
He did stop or rather was stopped by the kids at another home from where they solicited age from an old lady.I changed my path thereon not wanting to look intruding into the things.
I then was with my thoughts and found that the sympathy of a human being depends on how much he perceives the pain of other to be real.As now i had doubts about his pain my sympathy for him declined.Though i didnt give him the money not for this reason but because still i had the belief that by helping in bits and pieces one tries to exonerate himself of anything concrete he should do for society.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
a new unexpected experience
The last day of the year gone by had something interesting to teach me.....before beginning let me tell everyone who has bothered to read this post....that like most of the common people I also have a very negative perception of the policemen....but this experience forced me to have some pondering at my prejudices....
It so happened that I was driving down the road when the light turned yellow and by the time I reached the crossing It had turned red...seeing nobody around and having the so usual attitude "kya pharak padta hai"....i jumped the red light...besides it was not a busy one....so I thought it was ok....But suddenly a cop emerged and stopped me....
I first tried to evade him...and actually tried to bluff him saying that it had not turned red by the time I had reached crossing but he was not be be fooled.....i had to come out of my car....He asked for my license....I had heard that these constables take up your license and then demand whatever they wish..I had the age old notion about the policeman and I was very sure that he would soon be asking for bribe....
But here the experience turns different....he took the license from me...simply noted down the details ..asked for my insurance ..at which i again had the feeling that he is trying to find some problem with the papers so that he can fleece me...but he merely asked me the number..handed me a 100 Rs fine...and then actually made me realize my mistake...what he said was that one should not have this habbit of trying to avoid fine by lying...because you are young and the habbits formed at this age are difficult to change....more than his words the way that he told them had a sense of genuineness to it...
I had a different experience that day and that made me think that just like any other profession, good and bad people are everywhere. It is because of few good people that this world is still functioning despite all its faults.
It so happened that I was driving down the road when the light turned yellow and by the time I reached the crossing It had turned red...seeing nobody around and having the so usual attitude "kya pharak padta hai"....i jumped the red light...besides it was not a busy one....so I thought it was ok....But suddenly a cop emerged and stopped me....
I first tried to evade him...and actually tried to bluff him saying that it had not turned red by the time I had reached crossing but he was not be be fooled.....i had to come out of my car....He asked for my license....I had heard that these constables take up your license and then demand whatever they wish..I had the age old notion about the policeman and I was very sure that he would soon be asking for bribe....
But here the experience turns different....he took the license from me...simply noted down the details ..asked for my insurance ..at which i again had the feeling that he is trying to find some problem with the papers so that he can fleece me...but he merely asked me the number..handed me a 100 Rs fine...and then actually made me realize my mistake...what he said was that one should not have this habbit of trying to avoid fine by lying...because you are young and the habbits formed at this age are difficult to change....more than his words the way that he told them had a sense of genuineness to it...
I had a different experience that day and that made me think that just like any other profession, good and bad people are everywhere. It is because of few good people that this world is still functioning despite all its faults.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Some new changes in life
haven't posted in a long while.....today decided to do it..because i wanted to test some feature of google reader..for that i had to post a blog...so thought of it as a good oppurtunity to write something....
Its been a week since I have started maintaining a personal diary...the trigger to this was that I was realized that I was wasting far too much time on unproductive activities and I wasn't even getting to know where the time was getting spent....also a big reason was that I needed to regulate myself..my sleeping waking patterns have gone for a toss lately(well when were they right !!!!!)
OK now what do I do in my diary..nothing much just the main main events in the day...when did i get up...what did i do..when did i take my bath...what did i do constructive....who all visited our home...
So how has it helped...well to some little extent it is helping...I am kind of keeping tab of where I am wasting my time and trying to improve that although not much successful on actually improving that.. Then i try to make a planner for the next day and next day try to stick to it...again not actaully very successful at implemnting it...
But atleast its a start ...lets see how far can i take it....
Its been a week since I have started maintaining a personal diary...the trigger to this was that I was realized that I was wasting far too much time on unproductive activities and I wasn't even getting to know where the time was getting spent....also a big reason was that I needed to regulate myself..my sleeping waking patterns have gone for a toss lately(well when were they right !!!!!)
OK now what do I do in my diary..nothing much just the main main events in the day...when did i get up...what did i do..when did i take my bath...what did i do constructive....who all visited our home...
So how has it helped...well to some little extent it is helping...I am kind of keeping tab of where I am wasting my time and trying to improve that although not much successful on actually improving that.. Then i try to make a planner for the next day and next day try to stick to it...again not actaully very successful at implemnting it...
But atleast its a start ...lets see how far can i take it....
Saturday, January 16, 2010
beggars
Today i went to cannought place.their i saw beggars.it was not the first time that i saw beggars their.but i felt bad as happens with everyone.and we all forget.i want to do something for it.i dont know what i can do.therefore i am writing this so those who read this can come forwad and do what they can.
we say that we should not give anything to beggars because they spend it on alcohol etc.then their are mafias operating and the money we give to beggar does not actually is of any use but it promotes the evil itself.
we give many reasons to satisfy our conscience and later forget.......
but it cannot be ignored that they may be acting or they maybe using their own children to beg and using n no of bad things .....but then they are in need of help....and also their are many many real tragedies with people without clothes and with all sorts of diseases lying on the road in winter,in rain.....
something should be done....
i dont know what exactly should be done....i am weak/lazy and yes fearful.......but i want to help.....
so my friends whoever is reading this...please spare some time and think what can be done.......and try to make a network which can do something against this evil of beggary......
if i can be in any way a participant in this contact me at
anshulmittal.nsit@gmail.com
we say that we should not give anything to beggars because they spend it on alcohol etc.then their are mafias operating and the money we give to beggar does not actually is of any use but it promotes the evil itself.
we give many reasons to satisfy our conscience and later forget.......
but it cannot be ignored that they may be acting or they maybe using their own children to beg and using n no of bad things .....but then they are in need of help....and also their are many many real tragedies with people without clothes and with all sorts of diseases lying on the road in winter,in rain.....
something should be done....
i dont know what exactly should be done....i am weak/lazy and yes fearful.......but i want to help.....
so my friends whoever is reading this...please spare some time and think what can be done.......and try to make a network which can do something against this evil of beggary......
if i can be in any way a participant in this contact me at
anshulmittal.nsit@gmail.com
Monday, December 8, 2008
after years
today i talked to my first school crush...........:)
funny just yesterday i was talking about her and today i met her on orkut........
funny just yesterday i was talking about her and today i met her on orkut........
Thursday, November 20, 2008
A secret
Here is a something that i have hidden(or rather not told anyone) about.
I wanted to get myself admitted in VMC after class Xth.I gave the entrance test for it but could not clear it.The mail came at my place regarding my non selection.However by some mistake the letter bore wrong role no.So that allowed an excuse to go and talk to the people at VMC .
So we went there and somehow convinced Sandeep bhaia of admitting me in VMC as my past school record was brilliant.
In retrospect I think that i should not have taken that decision.For one because i was never honest in accepting the fact to anyone that i had manged to get admission in there by the means which could not be said to be perfectly correct and two because i somwhow could never place myself at par with the people who were selected defacto at VMC so it was quite a morale dampener.
It still is difficult for me to accept to anyone that i was not a VMC regular solely on my own merit because somehow i have made VM more important thn myself and still give myself some non-voluntary ego masage.I still want that people should consider me as intelligent and again non-voluntarily i still take VM selection as my ticket to it(although now i myself want to move away from it because i know that i am much more than a mere selection at VM)
I wanted to get myself admitted in VMC after class Xth.I gave the entrance test for it but could not clear it.The mail came at my place regarding my non selection.However by some mistake the letter bore wrong role no.So that allowed an excuse to go and talk to the people at VMC .
So we went there and somehow convinced Sandeep bhaia of admitting me in VMC as my past school record was brilliant.
In retrospect I think that i should not have taken that decision.For one because i was never honest in accepting the fact to anyone that i had manged to get admission in there by the means which could not be said to be perfectly correct and two because i somwhow could never place myself at par with the people who were selected defacto at VMC so it was quite a morale dampener.
It still is difficult for me to accept to anyone that i was not a VMC regular solely on my own merit because somehow i have made VM more important thn myself and still give myself some non-voluntary ego masage.I still want that people should consider me as intelligent and again non-voluntarily i still take VM selection as my ticket to it(although now i myself want to move away from it because i know that i am much more than a mere selection at VM)
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